ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME??

Y'all.

My life is legit a soap opera.

So remember how I had posted about how Military guy had ACTUALLY gone MIA on me?  Amidst all of my drama-rama around the ex-boyfriend  (aka #kryptonite) -- with me contemplating if I should or should not message him, running through the various pros and cons in my head, and consulting all of my friends about what I should do -- do I not get a random text message from Military guy?!  AND...he had the balls to say, "How am I supposed to make you my next secret mission if you never get back to any of my texts? lol"  UMMMMM....excuse me, I'm pretty sure you have ignored me for a week.  I have not received a peep from him, and he's gonna go and play like I'm the one not getting back to him. PLEASE CHILD.  I was not born yesterday.  If you're gonna go MIA and try to get back in the game, at least OWN UP to the shady missing stage. #dbag

AND of course, after all the aforementioned contemplation and consultation, I did reply to the ex.  OK, STOP JUDGING ME!!!!!!!!!!  Anyway, I asked him WHY? Basically, I wanted to know why he wanted a fresh start -- we had tried before, and it didn't work out.  I asked what's changed.....

His response?  "You're right. I'm sorry."

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!

That is not an answer. What a cop out.  My response to him?  "That's all you got?  Ok.  Obviously nothing HAS changed." #boom

Listen people, I  know you're shaking your heads at me saying I shouldn't have messaged him, but I have to tell you -- I'm glad I did.  I owed it to myself to see.  And hey, it showed what I have known for the past 2 years anyway...kid hasn't changed one bit. UGH.

#kryptonite

Ok, so y'all know that I have a history of boys repeating on me. You know the type, those Boomerang Boys who come back out of nowhere when you least expect it and disrupt your lives, mess with your head and just make you crazy.  UGH. So frustrating.  Frustrating because I just want to say "LEAVE ME ALONE" and "GET THE HELL AWAY!" but then it becomes the vicious cycle, right? Like the minute you do say those things, that's when they take the communication to mean an open door to even MORE communication -- just when you really want them to actually go away and leave you alone.

Well, folks, last night my kryptonite came back out of the woodwork.  I had previously mentioned him in my first post on this blog again (first bullet point), so you guys get an idea of what he's like.  Comes back every few months when it is convenient for him, or when he has some issue that he thinks I will be able to fix, wreaking havoc and messing with my head.  Another vicious cycle that has been happening for the past 2 years. 2 years!!! 

A few weeks back, I just snapped when he messaged me out of the blue at 4 AM, oh yeah...after having come over to my place and calling me like 20 times.  So I finally just decided I needed  to do something, because obviously my completely ignoring him wasn't sinking in.  It was SO tough for me but I just wrote him this message essentially telling him that he was being completely inappropriate and how he treats me is so disrespectful and most of all selfish -- I am, afterall, NOT his girlfriend anymore. Get the hell away.  So after I had sent it, I felt this huge weight off my shoulders -- like a sigh of relief after holding my breath for the past 2 years.  But it was also a bit sad for me because he was a guy I had really been in love with, and I thought that this message would definitely signify the end of his contacting me.

Well, I guess I was freaing wrong about that.  Out of nowhere he messages me again last night.  This time, asking me for a 'fresh start'.  A chance again. UGH.

Like I said, he's my kryptonite.  I KNOW I should just either ignore it, or repeat the message I had so carefully worded last time around but perhaps with a 'FUCK OFF' thrown in for good measure.  BUT part of me is getting all melty inside...remembering all the reasons I fell in love with him to begin with, and clearly completely forgetting about all the crazy shit he put me through that broke us up.

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?

SERIOUSLY.

HELP!

Consumer Campfire! #SmoresSAMabration

I'm lucky enough to work somewhere that takes pride in fostering a great corporate culture for its employees.  As part of it, each month the Senior Account Managers put together a little treat for the Consumer Team to help celebrate timely occasions as well as thank everyone for all the awesome work that they do everyday.  I selected May to be my month, and together with my fellow SAM Lynn, we decided to put together a May 2-4 themed treat.  Inspired by the first long weekend of the 'summer season' and cottaging, we thought we'd continue the celebrations by organizing a S'mores themed SAMabration!  Check out the photos below -- we took over the lobby and brought gourmet S'mores from MoRoCo, S'mores cupcakes from Sullivan and Bleeker, S'mores vodka to mix with yummy hot chocolate and marshmallows, and finally the most giant marshmallows EVER.

We also happen to have a super cool fireplace in our lobby, so we cranked it up and got our S'mores on.  Woot! #ConsumerCampfire #SmoresSAMabration

#songsofsummer - Next to Me // Emeli Sande

Next to Me by Emeli Sande

Long weekend fun

Happy Victoria Day, y'all!

Hope everyone enjoyed the sun and gorgeous weather.  I cannot wait for every day to be this lovely.  Summer always seems to bring the best out in everyone, and the streets of Toronto seem to be happier all around.  I absolutely love long weekends, and am looking forward to the rest of them this year!

Here are some shots from this weekend's activities at the Beaches and on roof top patios.

Boy Free Zone = #nodrama

Happy May 2-4, y'all :) Hope everyone's enjoying the sun!

This weekend has been relatively drama free, probably because it's been a bit of a 'boy free zone'.  I did have a couple dates planned, but one cancelled due to illness and well, the other I'll save for a future post.   It's interesting how much the drama level increases once boys are thrown into the mix -- hmm, think maybe that means THEY'RE the drama queens, and I'm totally even-keeled and normal!  lol, ok well I will keep telling myself that at least.

What a difference a week makes!  Literally at this time last week, I was hanging out with Military guy and everything was cupcakes and sunshine.  I was having the best time - genuinely being so attracted to his personality and sense of humour much more than his physicality.  And if you know me, even just a little bit, y'all know that I very much have a type that I don't typically stray from; so for me, this felt like I was growing up.  Well, he went MIA -- oh well, guess I'll just drink all the beer he left in my fridge.  Ok, maybe I won't but maybe I'll invite other people to,lol.  Ugh, dating baffles me -- just when I think I totally got it and know what I'm doing, I get thrown for a loop.  Thanks for keeping me on my toes there, Universe!

So instead of hanging out with a couple of the guys that I thought I would be this weekend, I took a bit of a forced detox.  I gotta say, I'm glad it happened (everything happens for a reason and all), because I am realizing that I'm not only getting jaded, but the excitement is lost on me.  Perhaps stacking the deck and playing the odds and going on so many dates has made me lose the spark.

Maybe instead of looking at it as a Dating Detox, I should look at it as a way to bring the thrill back into the experience.  Or at least to my perspective of the experience.  I gotta start getting excited for dates...and maybe it means I gotta be way more selective in who I accept dates from.

So, what do y'all think?  Shall I rekindle my love affair with dating, or legit just be way more selective with the guys?

#backupguys

Do y'all have them?

I think the common definition is a guy who is usually more than a friend but less than a relationship, someone you keep on backup when you need them.  Sounds horrible doesn't it?  Like when all else fails, call your backup guy and he'll make you feel better -- he won't be your Mr. Right, but he'll boost your ego and distract you from that jerk that you REALLY like who treated you like crap.

Ok, so I don't have one specific 'backup guy', but what I have noticed through all my dating disasters lately is that I've been getting over the jerks pretty quickly (obviously after some major dramatics to my friends, and a lot of questioning about wtf happened to guy x or guy y...but pretty quickly nonetheless) because I'm easily distracted by other random boys that I've gone on dates with, and have gotten along with, but don't really LIKE LIKE.  I mean, they're totally cute and very sweet boys, but just not the one I want to hear from.  You know?  And it got me to thinking a little bit  -- are these backup boys helpful or hurtful to me?

In the grand scheme of things, yes, it's great that I'm able to bounce back quickly.  For example, after the horrible date at the Motorcycle & Tattoo show with Divorcee (who I had dated over a month) when he ignored me for 2 weeks (only to message me again after I returned from my trip to Chicago), I had ended up rekindling things with a guy (let's call him Dancer Dude) I had met 2 months prior and even ended up going out on 2 dates with him within those 2 weeks Divorcee was ignoring me.  So obviously when Divorcee texted me again out of nowhere, I was essentially unfazed because I was being distracted by Dancer Dude.  Then, when things with Dancer Dude slowed down a bit due to his work schedule, I had already gone on another couple of dates with Military guy.  Now that Military guy is being all jerky and MIA, I've gone ahead and schedule a couple of dates next week with some other folks (Dancer Dude has asked to be scheduled in as well).  Endless cycle of backup guys.

But at some point, being distracted by the backup guys is really just a mind trick -- and I'm going to run out of the backup guys to keep distracting me at some point!  So what happens then?  Do I recycle? Because inevitably, based on previous experience with the BOOMERANG BOYS that I date, I'll end up with some sort of drama from an 'ex' who had decided he wants to canoodle again.

So, what do y'all think - is the reliance on backup guys a help or a hindrance?  Or is it TRULY time for a Dating Detox?